English Teacher:
Now I want you to tell me the saddest love story you have ever encountered.
Me:
Well, it all began when two babies were born in a different place and time. The boy grew up to be a successful young man who roams around the world to showcase his talent while the girl stayed in the sea of faces who admired him. He doesn't know her, but she knows him, from his real name to what his favorite color is. She sends him love letters, even if she's aware that he won't be able to read it and she has to pay loads of money just to watch him perform for a few hours. That pattern goes on and on, unceasingly. The boy continues to walk in his dream, while the girl could only look at him with pure admiration, and sadly, that's how it'll end. The boy...will never know just how much the girl loves him.
English Teacher:
That's quite sad.
Me:
Oh, the life of a fangirl really is sad, Teach.
Kim Kardashian:
I'd like to marry this dude and spend $10 million dollars on a publicity wedding please oh and then 72 days later I'd like a divorce
America:
Well sure why not?
Britney Spears:
I want to get hitched in a chapel in Vegas and have the marriage annulled fifty-five hours later because I didn't know what the hell I was doing
America:
Whatever you want!
Carmen Electra:
I want to get married in Vegas to this basketball player and then annul the marriage nine days later cuz we were both drunk lololololololololol
America:
Okay, sounds like fun!
Gay couple:
We would like to get married and spend our lives together and possibly adopt unwanted children to give them a good home and -
America:
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS THAT IS DISGUSTING AND WRONG YOU DEFILE THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE SO GTFO
